The acceptance of lesbian and gay politicians on the one hand and the disregard of sexual discrimination on the other is certainly also an indicator of the maturity of civil society. Accordingly, Serbia ranks alongside Belgium, Iceland, Luxembourg, and Berlin. The Serbian Prime Minister Ana Brnabic is a lesbian and active LBGT activist. In 2019 her partner Milica Djurdjic gave birth to a boy which makes Brnabic the first openly gay prime minister whose partner gave birth while the prime minister was in office. A big bravo to the Serbian society for this promising development. But there is another side, a darker one that still denies LBGT rights and wants Serbia back in the middle ages.
Right-wing retro-politician Bosko Obradovic
Recently, Dragan Djilas, former Mayor of Belgrade and one of the leaders of the opposition bloc in Serbia, described his opposition colleague Bosko Obradovic almost poetically as “a real and sincere fighter for democratic freedoms.” Anybody familiar with the activism and program of Obradovic’s right-wing Dveri must label Dragan Djilas‘s statement is outright absurd. It’s like saying that a crocodile is vegetarian.
Bosko could be just that crocodile vegetarian. Bosko Obradovic is the founder and leader of the Serbian right-wing political party Dveri.
In order to make my reporting as objective as possible, I started following the Serbian opposition media. So I came across the TV report Impression of the Week (Utisak nedelje), in which Bosko Obradovic was one of the guests.
Traditional Values – No place for LBGT and Pride Parade?
At the time of the airing of this TV show, there was an ongoing Pride Parade In Belgrade organized by the Serbian LGBT community. The TV show’s host asked Obradovic on his opinion on the Pride Parade:
Our position has not changed on this issue. We believe that there is no reason to provoke the majority of Serbians by promoting something that is contrary to public morals and that violates the law and what it promotes something that is contrary to our traditional values.Bosko Obradovic
Serbs have a saying – “The wolf changes his hair, but he never changes temper!” Bosko Obradovic is still a wolf of the violent 20th century asking to apply old remedies to new phenomena.
Question: What are the traditional values in a global, technologized Internet society? Answer: they do not exist, they cannot exist. We must develop these values day by day.
Bosko Obradovic apparently is in favor of patriarchy. Patriarchy is not that bad in itself one might argue. However, as a Serbian politician and, above all, a Serb, Bosko Obradovic must actually be aware of the realities of the Serbian civil society.
The number of divorces in Serbia in 2017 is 9262, showing an increase of 2.4 percent compared to 2016. It is yet to grow. In 98 percent of divorce, the educational rights and duties go to the mother. They get custody of the children. What are dads doing in Serbia? They continue to live their lives, apply for a minimum wage to keep their alimony and child support minimal. In many cases, the fathers fail to fulfill their financial obligations and very rarely use their parental rights.
Sorry brother, no patriarchy in Serbia
Serbia is as far from the patriarchy as the moon is from the earth. As a matter of fact, Serbian society is rather a matriarchy. And what only matters to Serbian mothers? Well, keep their kids healthy! Literally just that. What sexual orientation will be is completely irrelevant.
Serbian mothers will certainly not hate their children if they choose to become part of the LGBT community. They will still love them! In the age of surrogacy, they don’t worry whether they will become grandmothers.
New partner models urgently required
We live in new times. Modern societies are complex, fragmented and differentiated. This is a reality and no right-wing politician can change or deny it.
We know that the “Happy Family” myth is no longer the role model for our civil society. Violence in the family is a huge problem in our society. Other partner models are necessary to build a stable civil society. With the “Happy Family” model, which has long since ceased to function, there will be no urgently needed evolution of civil society. Politicians must create the framework conditions to implement new partner and family models.
Same-sex marriage or adoption laws allowing LGBT couples to adopt children is a painful topic for homophobe (and mostly right-wing) politicians like Bosko Obradovic. The reality is different. In Serbia, many children are in social need. And they are yet to meet the growing number of children currently residing in foster care and waiting for their parents to come for them.
Every day one can learn from the press what atrocities biological parents do to their children. From sexual abuse to the most brutal, physical violence. Often we also read about how foster carers treat the protégés for whom they receive certain resources in order to provide adequate care for these children. So the situation is not great.
Almost all homosexuals today are children from heterosexual parents. And many of them grew up in dysfunctional families without a father or in a violent family environment. Children who have undergone torture by their biological parents will hardly ever recover in their life. The “happy family” is nothing but a myth.
The danger of the happy family myth
There is one horrible stereotype about the LGBT community. Many people believe that they are promiscuous. Well, most likely LGBT people are as promiscuous as heterosexual people. No more, no less.
There is a very serious campaign in Serbia before every LGBT parade. Right-wing organizations and one of them is Dveri, Bosko Obradovic political party making a serious effort to dismantle and prevent the parade from being held. And then they post on the social networks mostly photos from the San Francisco parades, where the men are in strange clothes, almost naked. It’s a parade organized by fetishists. And I ask the question – How many friends do you have that want their mistresses to take on the roles of nurses or police officers in their sexual games?
Does this mean that they feel powerless and that they are expected to take care of them, or those who dress them in police officers’ uniforms and like to be handcuffed, make it clear that they love when someone has control of them. What will be with those who excite skirts that are part of the school uniform? Shall we say that they are pedophiles? As much as our fetishes may seem to us harmless, these are sexual perversions, which are described in detail in psychiatry.
How to evolve our society
Try to imagine two gay men or women who are serious, situational and in love. Both have higher education and very high incomes. Gentle, smart, caring to their friends and family. And imagine being allowed to adopt a boy or girl. Those kids would have a fairy tale life. They would be neatly bathed, combed. I’m almost certain they would eat exclusively organic food because I don’t know a gay man who doesn’t eat healthily. Perfectly styled, involved in sports activities, regular in language classes and rhythmic gymnastics. And if you disagree, I’d like you to reassure me.
Sure, there will also be bad or violent LGBT partnerships. There will also be divorces. LBGT people are not better people but they have the right to live their idea of partnership and society. They show us new ways of partnership and parenthood while the evolve our understanding of being human.
We need new politicians
Dear Bosko Obradovic, we live in the 21st century. After all, Serbia’s Prime Minister is LGBT and now has a son with her partner. Does that make her bad? Does it make her a danger for the Serbian society? We who are parents of children who have mom and dad fear that our children will become drug addicts. The sexual orientation of children is not a matter of parental concern.
The Pride Parade is something that reminds us every year that Serbia is a free country, not Brunei.
In this direction, we go all normal people who strive to live in a healthy society. I am afraid you have made it clear that our paths are diverging.